May 15 2009 Teen thinks yearbook shows WAY too much

Obama questions? Call Ed Henry, 877-266-4189 marketing plug for cnn radio- which is like the worst radio station. . . ever. I heard a mosquito warning telling me to use bug spray when I go into a mosquito area and for more tips check out "bite the bite" at the CDC website. Then Ed Henry came on and said in 6 different ways that he was not biased and didn't report on the flaws of democrats and liberals, especially Obama and Pelosi. Any time someone reiterates what they don't do that many times- the opposite can be assumed as true. Anyway- awful crap radio jumping from subject to subject with non-fact opinionated filler "analysis."
Ticker: Pelosi a 'big loser,' Gingrich says well, the exact quote is more like "Speaker Pelosi's the big loser, because she either comes across as incompetent, or dishonest. Those are the only two defenses. . . The fact is, she either didn't do her job, or she did do her job and she's now afraid to tell the truth." Cnn takes a perfectly legitimate inquiry into Pelosi's historical knowledge of atrocities committed by the US and paints a scene from elementary school recess. Check out the dark side photo of Gringrich that cnn chose!
This pottery club member didn't wear underwear on photo day and is concerned about a shadow in the picture that may or may not be revealing. She won't return to school but she and her mom appeared in this cnn video to discuss her embarrassment. The teen appears on the couch in short shorts with her legs open(visible shadows) and a big blurry blob on her face. The principal suggested they not talk to cnn because it would further exploit the girl, but the mom insisted.

June 18 2008 Naked frat boys run wild in street

Naked frat boys run wild in street

May 21 2008 Arrest ends pilot's nude romp in the woods

These young kids were just having a little fun. A pilot took a flight attendant to the woods after boozing her up at a local diner and they lost their clothes. Thanks to alarmed neighbors and the heat-seeking equipment on a local helicopter, the pilot was found crouched behind a shed in only "flip flops and a wrist watch". She was charged with theft and "other offenses", but the article does not explain.

May 20 2008 Bikini-clad baristas shock customers

A recap of today's infauxmation:
Essence: John McCain: A man apart
Martin: Make flag pin the 28th Amendment a report of how CNN-style reporting on the election doesn't have anything to do with anything and is ultimately useless, tiresome and distracting.
Gas prices drive Geos from clunkers to chic
CNNMoney: Paper money ruled unfair to blind
Firefighters replace girl's prom dress
Denise Richards: Charlie Sheen like a stranger
Porn may be slapped with 25% tax
But the best today was the video of a drive through coffee shop where the girls wear pasties
and a local mom finds it "terrifying!"

April 8 2008 Drunk newlyweds tasered, jailed

This piece is one installment of CNN's police force video triptych released today. The other two involve a wild turkey brawl and a wayward goat. Only CNN can get away with three major headlines dedicated to cop novelty cases.

March 17 2008 Naked Man Runs Amok in Grocery Store

It's St. Patty's day and no where is it more apparent that workers are giving their absolute least than over at CNN.com, the diversionary news source. The headlines today were atrocious:

• Bodies of 4 men found in vacant lot
• Potty school really gets 'em going
• Shaken baby's dad says she is recovering
• ABBA drummer dies in apparent accident
• Tornado takes 'Mrs. Bonnie,' animal lover
• Ex-Beatle to pay $50M in divorce settlement

While in actual news Cheney makes a surprise visit to his Frankenstein, Baghdad, where he plans to twist officials' arms until they scream uncle and open all oil fields to international companies, you know, just to level the playing field. China blocks millions of potential YouTubers from accessing lip syncing teens and Tibet protest coverage. Reports claim that at least 10 civilians were burned to death and estimates of Tibetan deaths range from 30 to 100. And for those searching today for that pot of gold: Today We're All Irish: Debt Serfdom Comes to America.
So in un-news-worthiness today, a man runs naked through a grocery store in Pennsylvania. Cnn reporting takes a really creative angle flashing shots of produce and cellophaned meat products to describe naked body parts. Navel oranges anyone? Upon further non-Cnn research, I discovered that the most interesting part of the man's outing in the buff took place in a hotel, not the grocery store, where he drove a forklift into an interior wall (the article doesn't say how he got the forklift inside) and busted a sewer line. Naked!