Abuse of Executive Power Acceptable, Encouraged

CNN pokes fun at the impeachment hearings, calling it a waste of tax payer money!
Yes, calling the administration out on its over 35 impeachable offenses is a waste of time and money seeing as how the checks and balances of our faux-democracy have been eroded by this administration and our tax payer money has been diverted to corporate elite. The mere idea of engaging in dialogue is a laughable offense to cnn, dubbed democrat "stagecraft." Much less the hilarity of holding someone accountable for crimes and abuse of power.
The "news anchor," apparently suffering from ADD, swiftly racks focus from Bush to a "Cute Baby!" in the background. This is one of the worst distortions of news I have seen in a while. See also: actual content in the impeachment hearings

July 8 2008 Pugilists pause for chess in the ring

Pugilists pause for chess in the ring
Boxing + Chess = German Sport Super Funtime!


Goo guns stops bad guys in their tracks
Homeland Security Budget dollars at work aimed at U.S. citizens. Yes, "bad guys" means protesters expected in Denver and other cities for political conventions this summer (DNC, RNC). The Anti-terrorism consultant states that "rational people should not be concerned" with the purchase of $25 million in arms for use against the American public. Touche. And yes that plural noun /singular verb was CNN's.

Independence Day 2008: Former Sen. Jesse Helms dies

CNN paints a saint. I like this Bush II quote: "Sen. Helms has been a tireless defender of our nation's freedom and a champion of democracy abroad," The cordial way of saying he opposed citizens' freedoms and fought hard to curb democracy at home.
It's nice too how they dropped his brief charity work with Bono and "Clinton's" Albright in the fight against AIDS in Africa after he spent decades opposing AIDS research funding and wanted to squash foreign aid entirely. In 1988 he reasoned "There is not one single case of AIDS in this country that cannot be traced in origin to sodomy."
Helms only had the "change of heart" because it went hand in hand with his ideals of eliminating foreign aid through the government. Even in 2001, he wanted to increase foreign aid only if the money was funneled directly through "faith-based" organizations (tax free paybacks to conservative supporters) and believed it should be subsidized by the public and contracted out to the private sector.
iReport.com: Your memories of Jesse Helms
only 2 reports up as of this post- Jesse Helms = Jesse James lists some pretty solid memories.
'War criminal!' protesters yell at Bush watch them get carted away as Bush II talks about free speech.

June 12 2008 CNN.com readers holding on to big SUVs

CNN.com readers holding on to big SUVs
Cnn tries to convince readers that it's good business to use the most polluting, least efficient engines of the modern world to blow through the remaining reserves of a non-renewable resource by spotlighting dependent peers.

The first man offers one of my favorite disjointed arguments:
Technology will save us in the end, right? So continue to use the outdated and most inefficient technology currently available. They'll figure something out.

April 4 2008 Pregnant Man stuns Oprah audience

I love this story. This is a report on the reaction of Oprah audience members as they are fed misinformation aka "a miracle." Fabulous! Oprah's guests are a couple expecting a baby, only the husband is pregnant, not the wife, only the husband is a trans-gendered female on testosterone therapy. So, basically, this isn't a pregnant man, but a pregnant female taking high doses of testosterone. Take a nap while watching the Oprah audience members drop their jaws and mouth the word "what?".

April 2 2008 Fanged Pond Creature confounds Officials

Ummm. This is a really awful imitation of journalism. CNN pathetically lures you in with that old bait and switch reporting style. The picture of the "fanged pond creature" is fantastic, but once you watch the video, you learn the specimen was not found in the pond, but in the parking lot near the pond. It is decomposed and was run over all winter long. Scientists believe it is a trout, flattened by twin cab pickup trucks and thawed by spring. (Article and Drawing from April 4)

March 25 I (heart) Mom, newborn kitty's fur says

I know! Another bad animal headline. But I couldn't resist. This video shows ( i guess) a little kitty with writing on her side. I could 't figure this out for the longest time. It looked more like MIV period ( Mobilize the Immigrant Vote.) Then I read the caption which explained the kitten's mom was "Dottie." Thus the spot or "dot" or as CNN reports "MOM." Then I realized the blob that looks like an M was really more like the state of Illinois and possibly this kitten ate that cornflake. Or maybe it was an M, as in the virgin Mary. Blessed kitten.

March 24 2008 Eight Burned Bear Investors

From CNN money: A line up of the poor Bear Stearns insiders and their losses in the buy out. Smiley pictures accompanied by brief descriptions of their time at the firm and mind boggling loss figures. But they aren't glum. Why? Because instead of filing for bankruptcy, the federal reserve gave JP Morgan $30 billion in a non recourse (i.e. don't worry about ever paying that back) loan to buy the BS shares for pennies on the dollar or rather 2 bucks (which they amended today to 10 bucks) for each BS share suckers purchased for over 100 bucks. And BS shareholders have no say so or vote. Smells like an Enron pig sty, only this time tax payers are bailing out the big guys. Is this called Asocialism? Public money flows to private company BS. Private company BS passes public money to private BS employees. Private company BS has no money. Public money flows in to bail out private company BS in distress and private company JP assumes ownership.
Wise man, Christopher Cox (former Rep. CA., R. and present SEC Chairman) claims Bear Stearns' losses are due to lack of confidence, but not of lack of capital. No kidding? It certainly takes billions to lose billions.

March 18 World's Biggest Jet flies to London

Yesterday, the world's largest aircraft landed at Heathrow. CNN was there on the scene to pay someone for footage and a lame article about the A380's first Euro landing. The plane can seat 853 in economy class, but Singapore Airlines opted to slice that efficient number nearly in half. This plane, as tall as a 7 story building was reconfigured to hold only 471 passengers.
Airbus, the manufacturer, claims the new plane is "the most fuel efficient and quietest passenger jet ever built, from inside and outside." That's some frantically idealistic red flag waving. They also claimed that airbus flights would be cheaper on long flights, but the airlines who purchased the planes have raised rates 20-25 % in business and first class. This telegraph article refutes the smaller carbon footprint and reduced fares claims of airbus. It also has a photo of an on board suite with rosebuds on the comforter and a mirrored wall, that old illusion of roominess trick perfected by craigslist slumlords. After consideration, its probably a smart move by Singapore Airlines to pack in as many suites as possible. In ten years there won't be anyone who can afford the 81,000 gallons of gas to fill the plane's gullet and it will be easily converted to luxury artist's lofts.
Be sure to watch the video of the plane's European landing!

See also: Horse tries to outrun tornado in Atlanta, a great video proceeded by a Viagra advertisement that has no commentary! That's right, a CNN web report that has no cheesy analysis or sensational voice over. Its just the Viagra ad and the 5 second video clip of the horse breaking free from its carriage amidst traffic repeated over and over and over and over and over in slow motion. Fabulous!