November 7 2008 Girl, 9, kicked off bus miles from home

This post is dedicated to Jerry and friends. Sorry for the lapse in posts- I just could not endure CNN's soul dissolving election coverage.

Little Cyrena (pronounced Serena) was kicked off the bus in Shrewsbury on the corner of Route 9 and South street for utter lack of disherplen. This was miles from her Route 20 home. Do not fear parents for Donald Davidson Jr. will never drive school buses in Shrewsbury again!

also of importance:
Michelle's dress: Love it? Hate it?
Obama's girls about to go into fishbowl
Stick, skateboard, doll enter Toy Hall of Fame
Honda unveils wearable robotic walker
Armed guards keep watch over churches - this should busy the idle hands of the military industrial complex

June 6 2008 Surviving a flight with your baby or toddler

From Cnn's ever helpful "Busy Moms Staying afloat" series, suggestions for air travel with your tot.
Really solid suggestions like scheduling flights during nap time, unless your kid doesn't have a consistent nap schedule in which case don't schedule the flight during nap time.
Amuse your child with a crinkled, empty bag.
Bring extra snacks as reparations for the unfortunate passengers who have to sit next to you and your kid.
"Remember that flight attendants are handling food and therefore can't also touch dirty diapers, Pantley said. Plus, she said, they probably don't want to."

May 13 2008 Feds: Girl, 12, trained to work as dominatrix

Certainly a bittersweet abuse. What tweenage girl has the opportunity to smack around mom's loser boyfriend.
And in other good bad news coverage today :

• Overweight nude to set art world record
• Woman fights bobcat, pins it to ground
• 1 in 3 workers hung over at the office
• Dad jailed after daughter fails test

May 1 2008 Mom-to-be charged with another DUI

Mom-to-be charged with another DUI
The reporters coaxed this girl out on the porch wearing just a night shirt only to video her crying with great emotion and embarrassment over the airing of her arrest video. Ruthless.

911 dispatcher falls asleep during call
This one's great because it includes Nancy not only fake snoring but also chomping down on her own fist as she waits for the correspondent to respond to a question regarding paid leave. Oh, and also bic pen manhandling.

Babies thrown off tower

. . . as they have been in India for 500 years as part of a traditional rite. So misleading, this headline. So fantastic, this video.

April 18 2008 Babies water-tortured, ex-child bride says

April showers bring May flowers.
Babies water-tortured, ex-child bride says
I LOVE you, Nancy. And if you can find a way to ignore her for a minute, this clip is actually a fascinating look into the abuse method of "breaking," allegedly used by a FLDS man to instill life-long "fear of the father" in children before they reach an age of remembering the experience.
Pentagon paid $1.7M to firms of polygamy bosses Warren Jeffs. This should come as no surprise. The DoD has a long long history of counter-intelligence and misguided funds. We're talking about a department that sent ballistic missile components to Taiwan instead of helicopter batteries.
Hungry slither across border as artist sings Yes, it says slither. Referencing Zimbabweans who cross the border into South Africa by "slithering" like wild savage animals under a wire fence.
$10,000 for child's birthday party?
I went to McDonaldland, had a cheap paper crown crammed over my eyes, played for what seemed like days in the concrete and fiberglass world of Hamburglar, Ronald, Mayor McCheese, Grimace, and the Fry Guys, sat under a fake tree that bore fried apple hot pockets while eating a fist size piece of vanilla sheet cake with my name squirted out in coal tar dye and sugar. Memories were created. You don't need 10,000 bucks. You need a camera. What ever you do, don't take any of the suggestions CNN posts like "save money with low-cost art projects, like painting pet rocks."
Murder, she blogged CNN takes a truly artistic and compassionate documentation of needlessly lost life and massacres its spirit with this quirky reference to a heavily rerun 80's TV show. Sadly, we see what happens when you mix journalism with CNN.
And finally, CNN links you up to Fox News for Officer battles python to save woman.

April 1 2008 Things a Stepmother should never say

Just how bad is CNN news reporting? Today it outsourced a major headline to Oprah.com. Yes, this article originated on Oprah.com and CNN picked it up because . . . because. . .well, just because. The only good part of this article is they somehow paid Edie Falco enough to pose for the photo. MAJOR FILLER ALERT! In other CNN.com headlines today: Jessica Simpson is out of the hospital, your April Fool's day pranks (which is just a cheap solicitation for you to do CNN's reporting for them), Woman accused of stalking John Cusack and Ballpark of Legos took 7 years to make.

March 19 2008 Student forced to pee in Lunchbox

This expose pretty much speaks for itself showing, yet again, CNN's obsession with bringing stupid people stories of even stupider people. A Florida teacher is under fire for teaching life skills and hard choices. The kids all want the teacher fired, but they're probably overzealous after having just learned creationism.

March 14 2008 Brother To Be Jailed Again For Sex With Sis

The teary couple Patrick and Susan S. seen in this video are brother and sister. The teary couple Patrick and Susan S. seen in this video are husband and wife. Aah Family. Unfortunately for them, German regulation makers believe incest should be punishable by law and Patrick is facing his third jail sentence of 30 months.
The best part of this expose is Juergen Kunze's crooked Eighties bow tie. Kunze is the professor of Human Genetics who speaks about the probability for disability in children of incest. He says in their study of 100 children of incest about 1/2 have disabilities. That's pretty much reinforced by Patrick and Susan's 2 disabled daughters from their 4, yes count them, FOUR daughters, spawned during their 6 year relationship, during which Patrick served 2 jail terms. Excuse me, but where exactly did the other 98 children of incest come from for Kunze's study?

March 7 2008 Mom charged in child power washing

The mother who was videotaped while spraying her 2 1/2-year-old daughter with a high-pressure water hose at an Orlando car wash on Feb. 24 has been arrested and charged with child abuse.
Since this happened SO long ago in internet news time I am assuming this is a follow up to the breaking news story that surely cnndotcrap did not over look। My favorite bite of the whole embarrassing enchilada is, of course, the mother's moniker: “car wash hose mom” Very New York Post. Check out the surveillance tape from Orlando NBC News affiliate!