December 31 2008 Woman, 88, yanks nude intruder's testicles

Happy New Year's Eve.
Not really over at cnn.com

Poisoned kids cry in agony as parents worry
Tree limb from windy day injures tot
Driver uses scissors to fight off carjacker
Woman plunges off hotel near Disney
And if those didn't make you add a couple layers to your exoskeleton, perhaps this will.
Woman, 88, yanks nude intruder's testicles
The woman, alias "Jennifer," suggests to lock your door and have a security light to prevent such situations. And, yes, the intruder was caught by local authorities. His name: Mike Dick!

July 29 2008 Airport screeners trained to read emotions

Legend now paints with tennis balls Navratilova polka dots canvas with painted tennis balls. "When someone does it to the point where it looks easy, that's art."
Airport screeners trained to read emotions
Creators drop Scrabble Web knockoff - aah scrabulous

earthquake overload-

Astrologer didn't predict quake :51

Quake interrupts TV taping :45

Governor: 'We were very lucky' 2:11

Los Angeles earthquake 2:34

'I was bouncing around' 3:34

Quake shakes backyard 1:10

Earthquake makes messy desk

'It was very scary'

July 8 2008 Pugilists pause for chess in the ring

Pugilists pause for chess in the ring
Boxing + Chess = German Sport Super Funtime!


Goo guns stops bad guys in their tracks
Homeland Security Budget dollars at work aimed at U.S. citizens. Yes, "bad guys" means protesters expected in Denver and other cities for political conventions this summer (DNC, RNC). The Anti-terrorism consultant states that "rational people should not be concerned" with the purchase of $25 million in arms for use against the American public. Touche. And yes that plural noun /singular verb was CNN's.

April 16 2008 Screaming Peacocks take over Community

I went to the zoo today, so I was delighted to come home to 2 great wildlife stories. The first involves a menacing peacock colony in Florida and the second involves an Gator kidnapping by a dread head.
And then I came along a great CNN PSA on fear mongering. It was like I was watching an advisory ad by a tobacco company and I just wanted to smoke by the end of hearing how bad it is for your health. I was being told to fear in this society of fear and that the media played into that fear and that I had nothing to fear, because schools are safe and I shouldn't fear.
What I really fear is this video of Larry King interviewing the ladies of the sect. Their dresses make me crave jordan almonds. I love the end when they parrot each other. Not that I'm aware of. Not that I'm aware of. Not that I've ever seen. Not that I've ever seen. creepy.

April 15 2008 150-pound cougar prowls Chicago streets

CnN produced several really irksome headlines this morning and the associated articles are even more irritating.

1. Today, IReport, CnN's redundant section for amateur journalism, solicits submissions of "your Pope pictures, videos." here's mine.

2. Study: Single Parents cost taxpayers $112 billion which is a study assuming poverty and government assistance to children of single parents will be significantly reduced if each state spent millions on "marriage education." (i.e. get tax payers to fund the organizations that funded this study) Why not spend millions on free no-strings-attached birth control for anyone at any age, sex education that includes abortion as a viable sans-stigma option, and job creation? What I'd really love to see is a study on how much churches and marriage advocacy non-profit organizations cost taxpayers every year. No income tax, no sales tax, no property tax, and tax write-offs for donations. Tally that.

3. Jesus' image creates stir at hospital ENOUGH! The condensation on the Orlando hospital window formed the face of Jesus weeping or Johnny Depp. Click here for more sightings.

4. 150 pound cougar prowls Chicago streets which I mistook for an update on Ivana Trump's honeymoon. What's wrong with tranquilizer guns? These sharp shooters fired round after round trying to kill this cat, might as well have been slumber darts.

March 11 2008 Runaway Tire Seen Crashing into Minivan

Tuesday Snoozeday over at CNN today. No less than 2 Major headlines today were celebrity revolving! (Paris and that city slickers funny guy). But the best major fluff today- A video of a tire flying into a mini van! And the tumbleweed tire's owner? A gasoline truck carrying over 8000 gallons of the flammable ambrosia. The truck actually lost 2 tires in the incident.