July 7 2008 Communion wafer held hostage

During catholic mass a student took communion and with great wiliness spit it into his palm for safe keeping. A church official saw this act of defiance and struggled to pry christ out of his hands. Both parties are pressing charges and the saliva soaked body of christ is being held hostage in a ziplock baggie in Florida.

Ralph Nader: Why I'm the best choice
cnn.com gives some airplay to Nader and offers a T-shirt. They even let him talk about the corporate interests of the other candidates until the host claims it's just the normal thing that politicians do. Nader, now at 6% in the polls, basically tells him that business as usual is simply not good business.

May 16 2008 Woman's body lies in apartment for 35 years

Woman's body lies in apartment for 35 years
neighbors broke in wanting to take over the place for their own use.


Diversionary Friday:
Cleaning her mountains one bottle at a time
WISN: Bus driver beating caught on tape
Plane lands atop another taking off Get the Tshirt!
6-ft. girl, 12, booted off boys' team
8 middle-schoolers expelled for sex on trip
Humans blamed for sharp drop in wildlife
Crazy ants chew through electric cords

May 9 2008 Teens tell police they converted skull into bong

Today's drawing suggested by Sarah Elated:

Teens tell police they converted skull into bong

The associated video is great. It's a blair witch style voice-over free sequence of a man stacking pieces of Willie Simms' headstone back into place. Then he washes his hands in a pool of stagnant water, which is foul and creepy since the article claims the coffin is at the bottom of this pool and officials are waiting for it to dry out before examining the corpse disturbance.

Some select sensational newslessness today:
Turning 50 prompts 75-pound weight loss
Drivers honk, scream to get $3.55 gas
Pals drive through 48 states in 106 hours
Kids' book calls pot 'just a plant'
Don't adjust monitor ... puppy IS green my fav because the lady at the spca is mildly chafed by the reporter's relentless attempts to sensationalize placenta/embryonic fluid fur tinting, which to her is really not newsworthy.
Your moms: Beautiful, fantastic, perpendicular
Accused pedophile a beloved Santa | Video