July 22 2008 Beaches plagued by gelatinous invaders

Cnn headlines the Time Mag Sci-fi inspired article, When Jellyfish Attack, about jellyfish along the coast of France. Chock full of invader references, the piece warns "there's more of that gummy pain on the way"

June 24 2008 Men with 36.6-inch waists face fines

cnn.com takes this story of a society in which the government is taking preventative action to curb a societal ill and makes it into a joke. Ha Ha the Japanese government cares about the health and welfare of its citizens and holds corporations financially accountable if workers are unhealthy. Ha ha that's so funny because it would never happen here. I mean, if the Japanese government just let their people get fat and unhealthy and sick and then denied them decent affordable health care, then a select few could get really rich and the majority of the people would be too sick, scared, poor and apathetic to demand change. Like here.
And the headline is even wrong, the men don't face fines, the companies face the fines if the health of their employees does not improve.

June 10 2008 700-lb. man dreams of walk down aisle

Teen calls prom 'most wasteful event' that's one negatively charged headline for this report on a student's high-minded effort to host a "green prom". The student wanted to hold prom in the gym and give $10,000 to charity, an elevated idea that was quickly shot down. So she tried to get domestic flowers for decorations instead of crepe paper streamers, catered the event from whole foods, and tried to avoid cheap plastic trinket gifts like beach balls by handing out cheap plastic water bottles that may actually be used again. Ultimately, I'm just glad to see that the electric slide has not fallen into extinction.

700-lb. man dreams of walk down aisle
That would be awesome, considering the last time he tried to go out involved a tow truck to carry his bed which caught on some lighting conduits hanging from an underpass. (a non cnn article claims it was a post holding a shade tarp that hit the underpass) Uribe's 1000 lb weight gain "spiraled out of control after he moved to the United States for a few years in 1988 and indulged in a nonstop diet of junk food and soft drinks." (he is the world record holder of 1235 lbs, 550 of which he has lost with dieting and botched liposuction)

Hen living at McDonald's finally captured i'm not sure how this slipped by on monday

March 31 2008 Addicted Doctors Still Treating Patients

Boozing narced MDs are at it again raising malpractice insurance rates for docs who come to work sober. These doctors are being sheltered in a confidential recovery program that allows them to simultaneously continue their practice. The article claims about 8000 docs around the country are currently in the program.

March 10 2008 Drugs found in US drinking water

Ahh Monday. A Monday one day after DST stole an hour. Like most Mondays, today was especially difficult to choose the right article to illustrate. So much filler, something serious must have gone on in the real news this weekend. Oh, maybe oil is up to $107 a barrel? Oh, maybe Bush cast his 8th veto in the last 10 months against the bill limiting inhumane interrogation techniques claiming "This is no time for Congress to abandon practices that have a proven track record of keeping America safe."
On to my top inspirations today: Gays worse than terrorists, lawmaker says, Boy buried in sandbox imitating cartoon, Sheriff's squad car kills two cyclists, "wet back Wednesday" at bar irks students, Vatican lists new sinful behaviors, 2nd woman involved in tot car wash case, Monstrous Robot going up in space. So many!

But I settled on Drugs found in US drinking water. A fascinating tale of prescription drugs leeching back into the water source. Yes, when you pee, your body spits out poisons, like prescription drugs and sends them back into the rivers, lakes, and streams, but mostly the water processing plant. And then that water gets bottled by Fiji!