May 20 2008 Chase ends for tankini suspect

Less is so much more- no crass cnn commentary in this video, just plain cops-style footage of a suv on bare rims skidding to a halt on the Sacramento freeway. A woman with all business in the front and party in the back hair sports a hot pink mail order bikini and exits the vehicle. She proceeds to perform the cochroach on the pavement while being handcuffed. The video is really amazing and thank you to cnn for not offering any journalistic analysis, although the caption claims it was a "high-speech chase." KTLA reports that Annette Hurd led police on a 50 mile chase that topped 100 mph and she is currently being held in custody on charges of evading police with disregard to public safety, driving with a suspended license, throwing objects from the vehicle while moving, driving under the influence, possession of a controlled substance, reckless driving, and felony hit and run.
Also in today's news:
3 michael vick articles
Michael Vick leaves prison | Vick's dogs , Martin: Banning Vick from NFL is crazy , Should Vick get a 2nd chance?
And a crazy emergency medical proceedure that required the use of a power drill found in the custodian's closet to relieve cranial pressure.

May 15 2009 Teen thinks yearbook shows WAY too much

Obama questions? Call Ed Henry, 877-266-4189 marketing plug for cnn radio- which is like the worst radio station. . . ever. I heard a mosquito warning telling me to use bug spray when I go into a mosquito area and for more tips check out "bite the bite" at the CDC website. Then Ed Henry came on and said in 6 different ways that he was not biased and didn't report on the flaws of democrats and liberals, especially Obama and Pelosi. Any time someone reiterates what they don't do that many times- the opposite can be assumed as true. Anyway- awful crap radio jumping from subject to subject with non-fact opinionated filler "analysis."
Ticker: Pelosi a 'big loser,' Gingrich says well, the exact quote is more like "Speaker Pelosi's the big loser, because she either comes across as incompetent, or dishonest. Those are the only two defenses. . . The fact is, she either didn't do her job, or she did do her job and she's now afraid to tell the truth." Cnn takes a perfectly legitimate inquiry into Pelosi's historical knowledge of atrocities committed by the US and paints a scene from elementary school recess. Check out the dark side photo of Gringrich that cnn chose!
This pottery club member didn't wear underwear on photo day and is concerned about a shadow in the picture that may or may not be revealing. She won't return to school but she and her mom appeared in this cnn video to discuss her embarrassment. The teen appears on the couch in short shorts with her legs open(visible shadows) and a big blurry blob on her face. The principal suggested they not talk to cnn because it would further exploit the girl, but the mom insisted.

December 28 2008 Man creeps into family's attic; lives there

Supposedly man lives in a family's attic for 7 days over the Christmas holiday. All was fine until things started disappearing from the house. He took clothes, food, a candle, and a laptop. Even a toothbrush. The police came 3 times to assess the robberies before finding him with dogs. Stay tuned, the police officer claims he is going to write a book about the experience.

also in the holiday spirit:
Man shoots talker at movies, police say at benjamin button!
Santa shooter carried secret guilt, attorney says
secret son was left a paraplegic due to his negligence
Secret Santa leaves cards, $50 bills
Brrr ... Penguin Club plunges into icy river

November 7 2008 Girl, 9, kicked off bus miles from home

This post is dedicated to Jerry and friends. Sorry for the lapse in posts- I just could not endure CNN's soul dissolving election coverage.

Little Cyrena (pronounced Serena) was kicked off the bus in Shrewsbury on the corner of Route 9 and South street for utter lack of disherplen. This was miles from her Route 20 home. Do not fear parents for Donald Davidson Jr. will never drive school buses in Shrewsbury again!

also of importance:
Michelle's dress: Love it? Hate it?
Obama's girls about to go into fishbowl
Stick, skateboard, doll enter Toy Hall of Fame
Honda unveils wearable robotic walker
Armed guards keep watch over churches - this should busy the idle hands of the military industrial complex

September 30, 2008 A Letter to Representative Pelosi

Today I wrote to Speaker of the House and CA Representative Nancy Pelosi. For the record, she is not my direct representative.

Dear Representative Pelosi,
Can you please explain your decision to vote yes on the Bail Out Bill. You made two comments on the House floor that are very incongruous with your vote. The first, “Democrats believe in the free market, which can and does create jobs, wealth, and capital, but left to its own devices it has created chaos."
If you vote for a bailout of institutions which made, as you put it, "unwise and risky financial deals," how can you claim to believe in the free market? It is not free if risk takers are not allowed to fail. And it is certainly not free if failure is rewarded.
You also stated that "Today we must act for those Americans, for Main Street, and we must act now." Yet you voted for a bill that may or may not stabilize wall street and has no provisions or protective measures for "main street," as you refer to constituents. In fact, you voted for a bill that must be paid for by your constituents and will benefit the aforementioned risk taking institutions. How did you act for "Americans on Main Street" by backing this legislation.
Thank you for your time and I hope that you will clarify this discordant speech and vote.

I hope that she will write back. I did not want to point directly to her own personal financial obligations- current personal mortgages and investments, and campaign financiers. I hope that her personal obligations had no bearing on her vote. But here is a list of her reported outstanding loans (mostly mortgages) between her and her husband in 2007. SP = spouse owned JT= jointly owned
That means that Nancy and her husband are paying off loans in the $12.25 million - $54.5 million range. I wish that I could report the exact number, but Reps are only required to check off a range on their financial disclosure forms and the range options are quite large (i.e $5-25 million). Perhaps if she graces me with a reply I will expend the time and effort to snooping around propertyshark or trulia with the disclosed addresses. The list of stocks that her and her husband own is too long for a picture- but you can download the file yourself from the above link and check it out. Some highlights: In 2007 Paul purchased $1 - 5 million in stock from a real estate company, purchased and then sold $1 - 5 million in stock from apple, and purchased $500,000- 1 million in stock from Cisco Systems. Bet you can't guess what Paul Pelosi does for a living. Financial Investor/Real Estate Investor. Bail him out Nancy! Us folks down here on main street aren't feeling the crunch like you because luckily we couldn't afford to invest in that kind of tanking portfolio.

August 18 Boy gets wish, cow chases bear, dog swallows fishhook with 3 prongs

Some highlights from last week!
Bush hugs bikini-clad U.S. Olympians
Scientists closer to making invisibility cloak
Plastic surgery cut by saggy economy
Troops pay baggage fees on way to war
car has 1.3 M miles
Boy gets wish: Seat on garbage truck
Cow chases bear away from apple tree
Mom shocked by teen's modest clothing
3-lb. dog swallows fishhook with 3 prongs
Weeding through cnn is very much like dissecting owl pellets. If you pick away at all the regurgitated hairballs eventually you can piece together the rotting skeleton of a news story, but its just the infrastructure, devoid of all the life and substance.

July 28 2008 Beer marathoners run, drink, vomit

This reminds me of running the Boston Marathon. The whole route is lined with friendly comrades cheering and handing you weird things like homemade oatmeal raisin cookies or glucose drenched orange slices. I recall grabbing a dixie cup full of water from some anonymous outstretched hand and slinging it back. I was shocked and then mildly amused to find I had swigged a shot of vodka at mile 18.

July 23 2008 Fish eat feet in new pedicure

House passes mortgage rescue to bail out fannie and freddie mac with $300 billion in tax payer money. When they were making a profit did the surplus go back to the tax payer? Nope- it was wisely spent on campaign contributions and lobbyists! Further privatization of profits, socialization of risk.

McCain visits grocery store - at the end of this video, Too good to be true you can see McCain knock over apple sauce that was edited from the first story.
Fish eat feet in new pedicure -"that's just nasty" says one anchor. "that's foul. . . what is wrong with these people" reports the other. This clip also includes a "stupid criminal" story. Ha ha what fun they have delivering "news".

July 21 2008 Camera sees car knock man across diner

Huge math error in Katrina supply giveaway - a new twist in the katrina supply stockpile mentioned last week- oops $85 million was really more like $18.5 million worth of relief items not distributed to storm victims. Silly counters overvalued the crates of sporks at $36 million. They distributed only $36,000 worth of sporks to the wrong entities.
Loud bar music may get you drunk I'm pretty sure alcohol is the culprit, but it makes a catchy headline`.
UFOs blamed for nuke missile failures
more inexplicable to me - all 4 guests speaking of the military UFO cover-up are named Robert
Camera sees car knock man across diner
he finds his hat but can't seem to locate his smokes.

July 3 2008 'Cindy Brady' halts radio chat to vomit

Nice work cnn, Latest breaking "news"
'Cindy Brady' halts radio chat to vomit

July 2 2008 Cops: Cat held hostage in dog dispute

Cat held hostage
This lady lost her dog "scooby" in "Green Acres" and so the pound let some other couple adopt it and then the lady came looking for scooby but it was already adopted and so the people were like maybe we should give the lady her dog back and then they met her and were like no she's not cool and so we'll keep her dog and rename it and then the lady stole their cat and then called them to tell them she had their cat and that she wanted her dog back and then they could have the cat but the police arrested her. All very interesting.

Infotainment breaking ?news?:
Could Heath Ledger really win an Oscar? 54 min
Jolie doctor to have news conference 42 min
No divorce for Madge and Guy
Time: July 4: Will Smith's holiday
Actor thinks his '24' role helped Obama
I couldn't believe all 5 of these were listed this morning in Latest News. The audacity.

The next fashion trend: Prairie dresses Teen princess dress!

June 30 2008 Furry outhouse among tops in race

If news of the administration gathering momentum for war in Iran was a little heavy for weekend reading or you are a bit nervous about that Swiss Bank account awash in untaxed earnings, don't worry.
Infinitely more entertaining is this video of an outhouse race in Minnesota.
As for the atom-smasher that could swallow Earth, I have no video diversion to recommend.

June 26 2008 Women spin atop escalator handrails

Women spin atop escalator handrails the mini coopster delivers hard hitting journalism when he asks a staffer to reenact an escalator swivel trick.

A report out shows that the major news networks have drastically cut back Iraq war news coverage this year.

"Almost halfway into 2008, the three newscasts have shown 181 weekday minutes of Iraq coverage, compared with 1,157 minutes for all of 2007. The “CBS Evening News” has devoted the fewest minutes to Iraq, 51, versus 55 minutes on ABC’s “World News” and 74 minutes on “NBC Nightly News.” (The average evening newscast is 22 minutes long.)"

In related/unrelated news: here is an interesting article about Ronald Reagan's son, the conservative talk show host, who has repeatedly advocated the death of "a traitor" on the air by firing squad, even saying he would buy the bullets.
"Tie him to a post, don't blindfold him, let it rip and have some fun with Mark Dice."

And by traitor, he means someone who leads The Resistance, a christian media watchdog group, whose latest project, Operation Inform the Soldiers, sends letters/DVDs to the troops in Iraq with information about 9/11 being an inside job. Here's a youtube video of him on FOX, which is amazing. I can't even believe he was given the platform to express himself as long as he was before being told that he is part of a fringe sect and his efforts (called hate mail by the impartial host) will be thrown in the toilet and the troops who are there fighting the Iranian-backed militia know why they are there. I mean, duh. We all know we are in Iraq because Iran has WMDs.

June 23 2008 Guy loses 80 lbs. eating just McDonald's

80 lbs. lost on McMiracle diet
I love this video snippet simply for the initial graphic in which bullet point text introduces this man, Chris Coleson:

• Vice Pres. of Operations, NEIE inc.
  

• He did not graduate from college

Details so fabulous and unrelated to the "news" report bulleted so they appear to be informative.
Mr. Coleson's diet chiefly consisted of his morning coffee from starbucks, Apple dippers with out the dip (a sliced apple), and something called a chipotle snack wrap.

June 10 2008 700-lb. man dreams of walk down aisle

Teen calls prom 'most wasteful event' that's one negatively charged headline for this report on a student's high-minded effort to host a "green prom". The student wanted to hold prom in the gym and give $10,000 to charity, an elevated idea that was quickly shot down. So she tried to get domestic flowers for decorations instead of crepe paper streamers, catered the event from whole foods, and tried to avoid cheap plastic trinket gifts like beach balls by handing out cheap plastic water bottles that may actually be used again. Ultimately, I'm just glad to see that the electric slide has not fallen into extinction.

700-lb. man dreams of walk down aisle
That would be awesome, considering the last time he tried to go out involved a tow truck to carry his bed which caught on some lighting conduits hanging from an underpass. (a non cnn article claims it was a post holding a shade tarp that hit the underpass) Uribe's 1000 lb weight gain "spiraled out of control after he moved to the United States for a few years in 1988 and indulged in a nonstop diet of junk food and soft drinks." (he is the world record holder of 1235 lbs, 550 of which he has lost with dieting and botched liposuction)

Hen living at McDonald's finally captured i'm not sure how this slipped by on monday

June 2 2008 Pringles can designer buried in his invention

Ahh its good to be back.

Fredric J. Baur, 89, died in the beginning of May and now in June, Cnn runs a story of the distribution of his ashes. A portion of his cremated remains were placed in a Pringles can and buried in his grave next to an urn containing some more of his remains. Another handful of his remains are in yet another urn given to his grandson.

Space alien seen on video, man claims

May 21 2008 Arrest ends pilot's nude romp in the woods

These young kids were just having a little fun. A pilot took a flight attendant to the woods after boozing her up at a local diner and they lost their clothes. Thanks to alarmed neighbors and the heat-seeking equipment on a local helicopter, the pilot was found crouched behind a shed in only "flip flops and a wrist watch". She was charged with theft and "other offenses", but the article does not explain.

May 20 2008 Bikini-clad baristas shock customers

A recap of today's infauxmation:
Essence: John McCain: A man apart
Martin: Make flag pin the 28th Amendment a report of how CNN-style reporting on the election doesn't have anything to do with anything and is ultimately useless, tiresome and distracting.
Gas prices drive Geos from clunkers to chic
CNNMoney: Paper money ruled unfair to blind
Firefighters replace girl's prom dress
Denise Richards: Charlie Sheen like a stranger
Porn may be slapped with 25% tax
But the best today was the video of a drive through coffee shop where the girls wear pasties
and a local mom finds it "terrifying!"

May 16 2008 Woman's body lies in apartment for 35 years

Woman's body lies in apartment for 35 years
neighbors broke in wanting to take over the place for their own use.


Diversionary Friday:
Cleaning her mountains one bottle at a time
WISN: Bus driver beating caught on tape
Plane lands atop another taking off Get the Tshirt!
6-ft. girl, 12, booted off boys' team
8 middle-schoolers expelled for sex on trip
Humans blamed for sharp drop in wildlife
Crazy ants chew through electric cords