June 17 2008 Boy Abandoned at Wal-Mart With a Note

Boy Abandoned at Wal-Mart With a Note

Nancy Grace reports in this video with some of the best Gracisms I could stand to watch. The way she says"thu bay-bee" is not to be missed. She also claims the woman who dropped off the boy was overweight with her hair pulled back and therefore affluent enough to raise a child, steamrolling through what most people conversly recognize as a symptom of poverty. Another fine example of sensationalism delivered with crazy-eyed stone-faced hatred.

April 30 2008 Fritzl vacations with lacerated pram, soccer-ball eyed squid, filth baby, thai masseuses; dreams of incest horror house

Thank you to Kelly W., Jasmine, SWAM and Toby Leah Bochan for crucial abetment. Your counsel was the only thing that assisted in narrowly averting my mid-week crisis.
Here are the links:
Incest dad vacationed while kids locked up watch video of speedo-clad Fritzl's Thai massage on the beach
Love, then marriage, then hubby in baby carriage
Colossal squid has soccer-ball eyes
Baby found in house riddled with filth Nancy reports!
NHL player lacerates spleen during game

April 18 2008 Babies water-tortured, ex-child bride says

April showers bring May flowers.
Babies water-tortured, ex-child bride says
I LOVE you, Nancy. And if you can find a way to ignore her for a minute, this clip is actually a fascinating look into the abuse method of "breaking," allegedly used by a FLDS man to instill life-long "fear of the father" in children before they reach an age of remembering the experience.
Pentagon paid $1.7M to firms of polygamy bosses Warren Jeffs. This should come as no surprise. The DoD has a long long history of counter-intelligence and misguided funds. We're talking about a department that sent ballistic missile components to Taiwan instead of helicopter batteries.
Hungry slither across border as artist sings Yes, it says slither. Referencing Zimbabweans who cross the border into South Africa by "slithering" like wild savage animals under a wire fence.
$10,000 for child's birthday party?
I went to McDonaldland, had a cheap paper crown crammed over my eyes, played for what seemed like days in the concrete and fiberglass world of Hamburglar, Ronald, Mayor McCheese, Grimace, and the Fry Guys, sat under a fake tree that bore fried apple hot pockets while eating a fist size piece of vanilla sheet cake with my name squirted out in coal tar dye and sugar. Memories were created. You don't need 10,000 bucks. You need a camera. What ever you do, don't take any of the suggestions CNN posts like "save money with low-cost art projects, like painting pet rocks."
Murder, she blogged CNN takes a truly artistic and compassionate documentation of needlessly lost life and massacres its spirit with this quirky reference to a heavily rerun 80's TV show. Sadly, we see what happens when you mix journalism with CNN.
And finally, CNN links you up to Fox News for Officer battles python to save woman.

April 17 2008 Kids put in dryer and tumbled, police say

Lumped together, today's articles form a corpulent carcass of adumbrated non-news. Toss it in the mass grave of Cnn's oeuvre.
In the video clip entitled Teens cuddle odd rodent found on road , a Cnn reporter declaims, a "not too savvy cavy" (groan) was found in Oregon by some not too mean teens.
A 26 toilet mansion planned causes stink in Connecticut.
For sale: Land next to HOLLYWOOD sign pretty accurately exemplifies the Los Angeles real estate inflation curve. What was purchased for $1.7 million in 2002 is a reasonable $22 million in 2008.
Lover asks 'bus girl' to be his bus wife no, he literally calls her bus girl and literally asks her to be his bus wife.
Kim Cattrall makes a 'Masterpiece' begins as a plug for the PBS Rudyard Kipling biopic but quickly explodes into a reminiscence of Sex in the City the series and an advertisement for Sex in the City the movie.
Foreclosures raise West Nile risk gives a phone number to call and report abandoned pools in your hood.
Mama Duck saves stuck ducks. another report on animals in the road. yawn.
And as illustrated, Kids put in dryer and tumbled, cops say . Note the macabre Kara Walker style silhouettes. The accused parents claim it was just fun.

April 10 2008 Principal had teens, porn, pot, cops say

Thank you CNN. Thank you for alerting me that not so famous person and not so famous person's kid sister are now engaged. Thank you for letting me know I can count on you for the latest Masters scores and I don't have to wait until its over. Thank you for telling me that its actually not that difficult to cut through someone's neck with a handsaw but bodies don't burn all that well. Thank you for alerting me to the black lab mix up at an Oregon kennel.
But thank you most of all, CNN, for Nancy Grace.
Oh Nancy, don't get so huffy. The guy took the teens out for wine coolers and let them watch the first 5 minutes of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Cute!

March 28 2008 Aunt charged in murder too obese for jail

How fabulous is Nancy Grace, with her sensationalized delivery of each and every sentence, her seizure inducing graphics, and that charming yet authoritative way she beats her desk with a bic pen like it was a gavel. In this clip, Nancy has no less than 4 analysts assisting her point of view. I love that Nancy berates the aunt for being fat and lounging at home and then chastises an analyst for a fat joke. The story under this 1000 lb expose of sensational outrage: a morbidly obese woman kills her 2 year old nephew. The 27 year old was arraigned in her bedroom yesterday and claims the boy got stuck under the bed, which doesn't quite explain the multiple skull fractures. The mother, 20, left her toddler and 2 younger, yes! younger than 2 years old, children with the bed-ridden sister. The mother was also charged in the death for failure to protect her child. Nancy really gets her feather's ruffled over the thought of this woman skipping out on jail. The lady can't get out of bed due to her weight, she's in jail already. "I hope you're watching lady!"