May 13 2009 Burglars use doggy door

The family of this house hit four times previously by burglars is thinking of leaving the neighborhood. After three break-ins they decided to install cameras and found their dogs welcoming crooks with kisses and elation as they shimmied through the doggy door. They were dumbfounded that such a thing could happen. They would also be shocked to know that the fake rock housing the emergency key sitting alone on the concrete porch is also a liability.

December 31 2008 Woman, 88, yanks nude intruder's testicles

Happy New Year's Eve.
Not really over at cnn.com

Poisoned kids cry in agony as parents worry
Tree limb from windy day injures tot
Driver uses scissors to fight off carjacker
Woman plunges off hotel near Disney
And if those didn't make you add a couple layers to your exoskeleton, perhaps this will.
Woman, 88, yanks nude intruder's testicles
The woman, alias "Jennifer," suggests to lock your door and have a security light to prevent such situations. And, yes, the intruder was caught by local authorities. His name: Mike Dick!

Abuse of Executive Power Acceptable, Encouraged

CNN pokes fun at the impeachment hearings, calling it a waste of tax payer money!
Yes, calling the administration out on its over 35 impeachable offenses is a waste of time and money seeing as how the checks and balances of our faux-democracy have been eroded by this administration and our tax payer money has been diverted to corporate elite. The mere idea of engaging in dialogue is a laughable offense to cnn, dubbed democrat "stagecraft." Much less the hilarity of holding someone accountable for crimes and abuse of power.
The "news anchor," apparently suffering from ADD, swiftly racks focus from Bush to a "Cute Baby!" in the background. This is one of the worst distortions of news I have seen in a while. See also: actual content in the impeachment hearings

July 9 2008 Less tasty inmate meals

This less tasty video explains the savings of serving baloney on white instead of PBJ's, the inmate favorite. Other cutbacks: water instead of tea and juice, frozen egg disks instead of real eggs, saltine crackers instead of cornbread. The sheriff says if they want peanut butter sandwiches, then stay out of jail and have your mother make them for you.

June 3 2008 Golf cart cops hear shots on camera

This Missouri police chief has added golf carts to his department for stealth and increased community interaction. Watch the golf carts in action.
Not to worry, as CNN reports, no one was wounded by the gun shots. No one was apprehended or deterred either, but there are Teenage Girls!


This "news" article stimulates my gag reflex. It's packed with quotes like "it is the coolest, most adorable baby on the planet. And this time they're having two? It can't get any better."
yes- "it" refers to a two year old girl and yes, it can get better. This is a story of "pandemonium" in celeb-u-gossip circles over the validity of rumors and Cnn is all over it!