May 26 2008 'Pixie dust' may help regrow vet's finger

'Pixie dust' = Salamander dust, no wait- pig dust, I mean stem cells
I like the way CNN decided to change the term "stem cell" with all its baby killing connotations to "pixie dust." Especially since the pentagon has been given all this tax revenue to conduct research .
Pixie dust does have a better ring than non-human stem cell regenerative reduction sauce.
(Story from May 27)

May 23 2008 Teen in tux saves stranger in store

Teen in tux saves stranger in store
This is not a rip on CPR class or saving lives- all very necessary and noble causes. This video, however, is creepy in that they just keep cutting to this guy pounding on a doll's chest with that infiltrating noise. I was a little disappointed that he was not in a tux and CNN was promoting T-shirt sales based on their clever title.

May 22 2008 Rat rides on a cat riding on a dog

Rat cat dog
trumps all.

May 21 2008 Arrest ends pilot's nude romp in the woods

These young kids were just having a little fun. A pilot took a flight attendant to the woods after boozing her up at a local diner and they lost their clothes. Thanks to alarmed neighbors and the heat-seeking equipment on a local helicopter, the pilot was found crouched behind a shed in only "flip flops and a wrist watch". She was charged with theft and "other offenses", but the article does not explain.

May 20 2008 Bikini-clad baristas shock customers

A recap of today's infauxmation:
Essence: John McCain: A man apart
Martin: Make flag pin the 28th Amendment a report of how CNN-style reporting on the election doesn't have anything to do with anything and is ultimately useless, tiresome and distracting.
Gas prices drive Geos from clunkers to chic
CNNMoney: Paper money ruled unfair to blind
Firefighters replace girl's prom dress
Denise Richards: Charlie Sheen like a stranger
Porn may be slapped with 25% tax
But the best today was the video of a drive through coffee shop where the girls wear pasties
and a local mom finds it "terrifying!"

May 19 2008 Oreo cookies spill, got milk?

Nothing better than a Monday morning dose of fear mongering:
CNNMoney: Average gas price nears $4
iReport.com: $5 gas by summer?
CNNMoney: 8 fuel-sipping SUV alternatives

and major diversionary news:
KOAT: Dad saves boy as big cat attacks
Grizzly victim: 'He's eating my brain!'
Man strikes oil in his own backyard
Solar-powered car doesn't need gas
Golf.com: Golfer wins after falling in river
Costumed skiers sink, swim in icy pond

Oreo cookies spill, got milk? :45

May 16 2008 Woman's body lies in apartment for 35 years

Woman's body lies in apartment for 35 years
neighbors broke in wanting to take over the place for their own use.


Diversionary Friday:
Cleaning her mountains one bottle at a time
WISN: Bus driver beating caught on tape
Plane lands atop another taking off Get the Tshirt!
6-ft. girl, 12, booted off boys' team
8 middle-schoolers expelled for sex on trip
Humans blamed for sharp drop in wildlife
Crazy ants chew through electric cords

May 15 2008 Tiny frogs invade community

rivers and other water sources turned to "blood" killing all fish and other water life.

amphibians (commonly believed to be frogs)

lice or gnats

flies or beasts

disease on livestock

unhealable boils

hail mixed with fire

locusts

darkness

death of the first-born

May 14 2008 T-shirt seller likens Obama to monkey

T-shirt seller likens Obama to monkey which was so George W. C- for originality.

Catcalling-- creepy or a compliment?
Busy travelers forget toddler at airport, fly on
'Fusion Man' soars above Swiss Alps- pretty cool footage of this guy with rockets and wings strapped to his back zipping around the alps.

nice pairings do not balanced reporting make:
Jack Black confirms: Twins for Jolie, Pitt
Actor tells House of newborn twins' overdose

Moore plans 'Fahrenheit 9/11' sequel
New movies make light of 9/11 attacks

I was cruising down 3rd st. near Larchmont today and a bunch of construction type trucks were lined up in the median for blocks. Possible protest action. If any one has information, please let me know.

May 13 2008 Feds: Girl, 12, trained to work as dominatrix

Certainly a bittersweet abuse. What tweenage girl has the opportunity to smack around mom's loser boyfriend.
And in other good bad news coverage today :

• Overweight nude to set art world record
• Woman fights bobcat, pins it to ground
• 1 in 3 workers hung over at the office
• Dad jailed after daughter fails test

May 12 2008 Skimpy Prom dress lands teen in cuffs

prom season coverage
I really like how CNN reporters asked this girl to model her "inappropriate" dress in a playground. Savvy.

May 9 2008 Teens tell police they converted skull into bong

Today's drawing suggested by Sarah Elated:

Teens tell police they converted skull into bong

The associated video is great. It's a blair witch style voice-over free sequence of a man stacking pieces of Willie Simms' headstone back into place. Then he washes his hands in a pool of stagnant water, which is foul and creepy since the article claims the coffin is at the bottom of this pool and officials are waiting for it to dry out before examining the corpse disturbance.

Some select sensational newslessness today:
Turning 50 prompts 75-pound weight loss
Drivers honk, scream to get $3.55 gas
Pals drive through 48 states in 106 hours
Kids' book calls pot 'just a plant'
Don't adjust monitor ... puppy IS green my fav because the lady at the spca is mildly chafed by the reporter's relentless attempts to sensationalize placenta/embryonic fluid fur tinting, which to her is really not newsworthy.
Your moms: Beautiful, fantastic, perpendicular
Accused pedophile a beloved Santa | Video