December 31 2008 Woman, 88, yanks nude intruder's testicles

Happy New Year's Eve.
Not really over at cnn.com

Poisoned kids cry in agony as parents worry
Tree limb from windy day injures tot
Driver uses scissors to fight off carjacker
Woman plunges off hotel near Disney
And if those didn't make you add a couple layers to your exoskeleton, perhaps this will.
Woman, 88, yanks nude intruder's testicles
The woman, alias "Jennifer," suggests to lock your door and have a security light to prevent such situations. And, yes, the intruder was caught by local authorities. His name: Mike Dick!

December 28 2008 Man creeps into family's attic; lives there

Supposedly man lives in a family's attic for 7 days over the Christmas holiday. All was fine until things started disappearing from the house. He took clothes, food, a candle, and a laptop. Even a toothbrush. The police came 3 times to assess the robberies before finding him with dogs. Stay tuned, the police officer claims he is going to write a book about the experience.

also in the holiday spirit:
Man shoots talker at movies, police say at benjamin button!
Santa shooter carried secret guilt, attorney says
secret son was left a paraplegic due to his negligence
Secret Santa leaves cards, $50 bills
Brrr ... Penguin Club plunges into icy river